Like a Mother: An Interview with Alicia Underwood of Socially Inspired
I’ve known Alicia Underwood for several years. One of my favorite parts of friendship with other women is getting to see them become mothers. While COVID-life has kept us from seeing each other the past year, I’ve still been able to follow the amazing things Alicia is doing as a mother and a business owner. So I was thrilled when she agreed to let me interview her for my “Like a Mother” series on The Daily Wild.
Let’s start with you introducing yourself, your family, and telling us a bit about your background.
My name is Alicia Underwood and I’m a mama to two little boys, Mack( 4) and Miles (1.5). My husband and I live in Webster Groves. I’m originally from the tropical country of Malaysia. I grew up in the capital Kuala Lumpur. At the age of 17, I decided to pursue an adventure and Googled “Best Journalism School in the United States” and The University of Missouri popped up. I applied and never looked back! I’m so glad I took the plunge because that decision led me to the man of my dreams and eventually our two beautiful children. As I took that risk, I learned so much about myself, the world, and I’ve fallen in love with this beautiful country.
Tell us a bit about Socially Inspired and the evolution of the business.
Socially Inspired started out as Socially Jen and Co. Jen and I met in early 2016 when I was working with ALIVE Magazine. We ended up becoming really good friends and finally decided to join forces later that year. I’m so glad we did because it’s been the most rewarding part of my life! Not only have I gained a wonderful friend, but Jen has undoubtedly become like a sister to me. Our business, of course, has grown tremendously. When we first started, I told Jen that I envisioned our company to be the premier social media agency. Like any other business, we have our ups and downs. However, I’m proud to say that we’ve achieved our goals - not just financially but the type of projects and clients we’ve been going after for years. It definitely took a lot of hard work, perseverance, and dedication!
How has motherhood informed and changed your career?
When Jen and I first incorporated the business, I was about seven months pregnant and Jen had just gotten word that she was officially adopting. Three months later, both she and I were deep into motherhood with our little infants. Side note: It was then that our employee, Becky, found out she was pregnant too! In all honesty, being the type A person that I was, I was extremely nervous that I wasn’t able to juggle work and motherhood. You see, in my head, things needed to be perfect whether I was executing a campaign or being a mother. But what I’ve realized is that through the lens of imperfection and giving ourselves grace, that’s when growth can occur. I had the traditional view that once I became a mother, my career would stop. However, it has been the complete opposite! My parents were right, that having children is auspicious and a blessing. In our culture, it is believed that having children will only multiply your blessings, not the other way around.
You know I'm really passionate about what it means to be intentional and living a conscious, present life. What does it mean to you in motherhood and as a business owner?
Oh, this question speaks so much to me! I will let you in a personal story. Last year in 2019, I was suffering from a pretty severe postpartum depression after my second child. It was through the complete void of myself that I managed to find my true self. Jen and I talk a lot about being present and practicing an intentional life. I can say, at times it feels very difficult. We live in such a scarcity culture that even the practice of an intentional life can seem very manufactured. It’s more than self-care, more than reading self-help books. It’s about being able to truly feel what you and your family need at that very moment. It’s the ability to hold on to your core values and cultivate that. It’s the ability to live fearlessly and unapologetically. I think in essence, it’s the ability to truly feel every life emotion in its deepest and purest sense.
How has becoming a mother changed the way you think about your own parents, if at all?
I think about this all the time. In one of my therapy sessions, my therapist reminded me that as I go through motherhood, a lot of my childhood and the mothering I received will surface. To be honest, that has been the bulk of my self-reflection work in 2020 which is working through my childhood. It was hard coming to grips with some of my childhood because like any child, you want to think the best about your parents. However, I had to come to certain realizations that one of my parents, specifically my mother, is mentally ill. Becoming a mother forced me to mourn the lack of mothering in my life and in that sense, I have to reparent myself. Once I’ve faced that, I found a deep sense of forgiveness toward my parents. It hasn’t been an easy journey (it still isn’t) but I’ve realized now that they were also trying to find themselves while raising my siblings and me.
There are a lot of things that go along with motherhood that our culture stigmatizes or simply ignores. Obvious things like abortion, but also miscarriage, infertility, adoption, foster care, divorce, infidelity, depression, and how pregnancy sometimes sucks. Are there any things like that that you wished you'd known more about or wished people talked about more?
Absolutely. I wish people would talk about how your marriage changes after you have children. In the age of the ‘gram, it’s so easy to get sucked into these “perfect” lives - perfect children, perfect marriages, perfect family. It’s the one thing I’ve always been transparent about on my Instagram, specifically my Stories, is that I never sugarcoat things especially my marriage. It’s incredibly hard. I think there’s an expectation that you’re supposed to have a stronger relationship after you have children but that’s far from the truth. I’ll be honest - there were times in our marriage after children that I thought we wouldn’t make it. And this is after having seven years of blissful marriage before having children. I hated him but I also deeply love him. But I think that’s it - that us as a society - we need to allow ourselves to live in duality with a lot of things. That we can love and fight. We can laugh and cry. It’s why we have yin and yang. We tend to only focus on one thing - which is either extreme positivity or negativity. If we can talk more about the gray parts of marriage - I think we can all come out stronger together and with more families intact.
Shifting to business life, what are some philosophies you have about being a working mom? How about being a business owner and entrepreneur?
I would love to say balance, but how cliche would that be. 😂 I think suffice to say that we are all working in seasons and that’s okay. There will be certain seasons you’ll be called closer to home and other seasons you’re working your tail off. And also, have a good team! It’s the only way you get to keep your sanity of doing both.
Any tips on managing employees in an intentional way?
Oh yes. Listen and be empathetic. It’s the one thing that has always felt right to Jen and me. I think modern culture focuses too much on quantifying an employee’s productivity. While that’s an important part of the success of the company, if we take care of our employee state of mind and home life everything will follow suit.
What about managing a business during a pandemic? How have you guys shifted things?
Perhaps this could be a separate conversation. 😂 Oh man, where do I start? At the beginning of the pandemic, like so many businesses, we were panicking. About ⅔ of our clients dropped us and the uncertainty was definitely scary. In addition, both our husbands also lost their jobs. But it’s amazing what a crisis can do. Humans are incredibly resilient, creative, and adaptable. Jen and I immediately strategized and got deep into work. We brainstormed how to pivot our business. Jen worked on sales and I began researching how to get our PPP loan (which wasn’t easy). Thankfully with the nature of our business, we saw a boom within three months. In fact, 2020 was one of our best years!
Tell us about your neighborhood and why you love it.
We live in the adorable and eclectic Webster Groves. My husband and I adore it. Besides being a family-friendly neighborhood, it’s filled with wonderful and charming small businesses and restaurants. Not to mention, I love how each home here retains its own charm and characteristics.
What's your favorite thing to do with kids in St. Louis?
There are so many I can’t count! Haha. Besides our usual civic institutions like the Zoo, Science Center, I love taking my kids to the playground at DeMun Park and Lafayette Park. There’s nothing like the sweet outdoors for my boys.
How about without kids in St. Louis?
Oh yes! My husband and I spent our first 5 childless years at Lafayette Square. Our friends used to live there as well. A typical night would start out at one of my friends' homes, then we hit 33 Wine Bar and end the night at Square One Brewery. One of my favorite neighborhoods is also Central West End. My husband and I would have dinner at Gamlin Whiskey, play a game of chess at the Chess Hall of Fame, and then we’ll scour some good books from our favorite local bookstore, Left Bank Books.
How would you describe your brand's aesthetic and your personal aesthetic?
I would say our brand and my personal aesthetic are pretty similar. It is vibrant, energetic, bubbly, and timeless.
Share some parenting advice with us.
When I was little, my dad would always say “Let It Be” as he sang The Beatles. I used to get so annoyed but now I totally get it. So when things get chaotic at home, I find myself humming to “Let It Be.” And I guess that is my general parenting advice, let it be.
What's some good advice you've been given by a woman?
My mother-in-law! It was when I had my second child, I was stressing out trying to make sure the house was in tip-top condition. She said it’s okay - you don’t have to get everything done at once. It seems like simple advice but rather profound in so many ways.
What excites you about motherhood? What makes you the most nervous?
Oh man, so many things excite me about motherhood! I will be honest - I never really wanted to be a mother. My first child was definitely an oopsy. But a good oopsy, nevertheless! I feel every day isn’t the same and it’s so amazing to see life through the lens of a child, the wonder and the excitement. It’s the little things in life such as your baby taking his first walk or laughing so hard at his own joke. I think what makes me most nervous is seeing my kids becoming adults. That’s when you lose utter control. Thoughts will pop into my head at night - will they drink and drive? Will they be emotionally abused by a friend or spouse? I just hope they grow up with the best coping tools and skills.
Do you have any woman icons? If so, who?
Yes! I adore Michelle Obama, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and Katherine Johnson. There are so many others but these are women who broke the glass ceiling in their own ways despite the challenges and hardships. Yet, they managed to do it with so much grace while raising their young without being “taken care of” by a man. They have their own convictions and aren’t afraid of voicing for the marginalized. That to me is an icon.
What is some advice you would give a budding woman entrepreneur?
Mean what you say, and say what you mean in everything you do. And also, get a business partner! Be thoughtful about it but don’t be afraid to do so!
What's next for Socially Inspired?
We hope to continue growing our portfolio, expand our team, and something exciting - we will be adding a membership portion on our site to serve solopreneurs and start-ups.
Anything else you'd like to share?
I think when moms support moms - great things will happen! And we got this! 😉
Image copyright Social Inspired and courtesy of Alicia Underwood. Find out more about Socially Inspired.